


Depression

by miss_hula_girl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anger, Coping, Depression, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_hula_girl/pseuds/miss_hula_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi helps Hanji begin to cope and deal with her depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Depression

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't my normal kind of fic, but I had to write it. This is very much written about me dealing with things I've been working through. I needed to begin to work through things and writing was the best way I could think of. I could also see Hanji dealing with it in a similar way, including the shame afterwards.

She’d been quiet the past few days, rarely leaving her room. Levi figured she probably was in the middle of some important research but enough was enough. She needed food and probably a bath. He loaded a tray with various choices from the kitchen and headed to find her.

The door was shut but not locked. He knocked and announced himself.

“Hey, shitty-eyes. Time for a break. I’m coming in!”

As he pushed the door open, the messiness of the room concerned him. Hanji was always messy, but this wasn’t her typical disorganization. Broken glass was in front of her dresser where it looked like something either fell or was possibly thrown. Her blankets were all on the floor except for one, her favorite one, which was in a lump in the middle of the mattress. Outside her closet was a mass of clothes, no indication as to whether they were dirty or clean. The curtains were pulled shut tight, which was odd for her, the lover of sunlight. Most of her work on her desk was pushed onto the floor in front of it, with only a pen and a single solitary sheet of paper with the beginning of a letter, then angry scribbles. Hanji, however, was nowhere to be found.

Levi sat the food down on the bed, then looked around. It had been a while since she had gone this far, and he felt like a fool for not jumping in sooner.

“Hanji? Are you here? Hanji! Come on,” he called quietly, hoping to get some response, any response. A breath, a sniffle, a shift. He listened closely for anything. And he finally got it. But it wasn’t quite what he was expecting. Levi heard a crumple and as he turned toward the sound, he found the source, right in his face.

“Damn it, Hanji. I thought you were working. Why didn’t you come find me?” Another paper wad came towards him. “You know I’d come and help!” Dodged yet another one.

“I don’t need help! I’m fine!” a familiar voice shouted from under the desk. “It’s nothing!”

“Shit it isn’t nothing! I don’t care if you don’t want to talk about it, but damn it, come get me. I’ll at least come over and, I don’t know, sit here.”

Levi pushed everything over from in front of the desk and took a seat. He leaned back against the wood panel with a thud, now able to hear the shaky breath on the other side. It was a mix of anger and sadness.

“What’s going on?” he asked quietly.

Hanji took a deep breath in, then released it before speaking.

“Nothing. I just, I can’t do things right now. I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”

“Do you want some food?”

“No, I haven’t been hungry. “

“Do you want to talk about anything?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Can I clean your room?”

“What?”

“Actually that wasn’t asking permission. What I meant was, I’m going to work on cleaning your room.”

“No! I made the mess. I need to deal with it.”

“Deal with the mess in your brain right now. I want to do this.” And without waiting for a response, Levi was up.

She listened carefully to him working. The sweeping of the broom, glass clinking against itself, then crashing into the trash can. She heard Levi shaking the blankets out then spreading them out on the bed. She had a feeling he was looking at the pile of clothes because she heard him mumble something to himself, then she heard noises on the other side of the desk. Papers shuffling and crinkling, then setting down on the desk above her.

Hanji felt a pang of shame hit her. Her head fell onto her knees that she had pulled up to her chest. She made the mess, she should be the one cleaning it up. There was no reason for a grown woman to act this way. She’d worked hard to keep herself under control, but something made her lose it this time.

“There. I’m just going to assume all these clothes are dirty. We can go out and wash them later. There’s food on the desk, little bit of everything. Need or want anything else before I go?”

She was at a loss for words. Coming out of her hiding space and peeking over the desk, she finally made eye contact with Levi.

“Thanks. You didn’t have to do that. I should’ve.”

“I didn’t have to. I wanted to. It will make you feel better. Come see me if you want to get out. We can go wash your clothes together later if you feel like it. But right now, just eat.”

“Will you stay for a bit? I kinda like having someone around, even if I don’t feel like talking.”

Levi turned around, walked back to the bed, and flopped down on it. “Of course. I’ll stay as long as you want.”

Finally, sitting in her chair and looking at the small spread laid in front of her, she thanked him one last time before gingerly scooping some soup.


End file.
